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The Order Reviewby Ray Garton
2003
Starring: And You Thought Sitting in Church was Boring ... Alex Bernier is a hunky young priest who says mass in Latin with his back to the congregation as if he’s never heard of Vatican II. He and his friend and fellow priest Thomas Garrett are the only two remaining members of an obscure order that deals with ghosts and demons and performs exorcisms. When the order’s leader and their mentor, an excommunicated priest, dies, he is ushered out of this life by a sin eater, an immortal who, for a fee, consumes the sins of the dying so they can go to heaven without being absolved by a priest. The sin eater is horning in on the papacy’s business, and they don’t like it. Driscoll, a mysterious cardinal, dispatches Bernier and Garrett to find and dispose of the sin eater with a special dagger Driscoll gives to Bernier. Driscoll, we’re told, is favored to replace the ailing pope, although why we’re told this, I’m not sure. Mara Sinclair is an attractive young woman with whom Bernier has a history. She has escaped from a mental institution where she was put after attempting suicide and trying to kill Bernier during an exorcism (I don’t know, so don’t ask). Mara comes to Bernier and goes along for the ride when he goes to Rome to find the sin eater. I think. The Order languished on a shelf for some time under its original title, The Sin Eater, before being released to theaters in 2003. It’s a very strange movie. While watching it, I had the unshakable feeling I’d come in on the middle of the movie and was never quite able to figure out what was going on. But I didn’t come in on the middle – I watched it from beginning to end. And yet, I was never quite certain who was doing what to whom and why. Along with that, I had to deal with the added distraction of trying hard to stay awake – this is a deadly dull film. The sin eater is a man named William Eden. He’s an immortal who performs a ceremony over the dying person that draws out their sins, which he then eats. Sin, as it turns out, looks a lot like smaller, ghostly versions of the sinister Sentinels in The Matrix and its sequels, the big octopus-like ships that chase the good guys. To find the sin eater, Bernier and Garrett visit a black-hooded guy who’s busy hanging someone in a big cavern. They seem to know this guy, and they don’t seem at all concerned about the fact that he’s killing someone while they’re there. I was never sure of the significance of this black-hooded character, nor did I know why he was hanging someone to death. At least the movie is consistent. When Bernier finds Eden, he doesn’t kill him with the dagger. Not right away, anyway. First, they talk. They talk, and they talk, and they talk. They didn’t talk this much in My Dinner With Andre, but it was a lot more interesting. The gist of all this talk, if I’m not mistaken, is that the sin eater is full and he’s looking for a replacement. He wants Bernier to take over his job, live forever, and eat sins. Bernier, meanwhile, is busy breaking his vows with the lovely Mara and drinking with his friend Garrett. Two sinister children show up near the beginning of the film and ... well, look sinister, before turning into a flock of birds and flying away. Like so many other elements in this movie, I’m not sure what they had to do with anything. Once they’re gone, they’re forgotten. Writer-director Brian Helgeland is no slouch. He wrote and directed two very entertaining pictures – A Knight’s Tale and Payback – and scripted such fine movies as L.A. Confidential and Mystic River. Then again, he also wrote A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: A Dream Master and 976-EVIL. Oh, well, not every project can be a winner. It takes just as much work to make a bad movie as a good one. It also takes enthusiasm and drive and commitment – and it’s hard to believe that anyone, in any capacity, ever felt those things for The Order. By the end of the movie, the identity of the black-hooded guy is revealed, as is the true nature of the dagger given to Bernier by the cardinal. But by then, we don’t care. By then, all we want is a strong cup of black coffee and maybe a brisk walk to wake us up. We’re left with lots of questions, foremost among them being this: How did this movie get made? Did it really look good on paper? If so, what happened between the page and the screen? These questions are far more pressing than any raised by the movie’s story, but we are left without answers. If you’re looking for something scary and entertaining, avoid The Order. If you’ve been having a hard time getting to sleep, this is the perfect movie for you.
[Out of a possible four Bloodshot Eyeballs.]
The Order
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