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Monster Man Review
by Ray Garton
2003 - Lion's Gate
Written and Directed by:
Michael Davis
Starring:
Eric Jungmann - Adam
Justin Urich - Harley
Aimee Brooks - Sarah
Michael Bailey Smith - Monster Man
There’s something to be said for a good moron movie. There are plenty of moronic movies out there – God knows we’ve got more of those than we know what to do with – but a good moron movie doesn’t come along very often. The difference is that a moronic movie takes itself seriously and doesn’t seem to realize that it’s incredibly stupid, while a moron movie knows it’s stupid, and it knows that you know it’s stupid, and it’s just out to show you a good time. The best moron movies are especially fun to watch with a group of like-minded friends with some adult beverages.
Monster Man is such a movie.
It’s about these two guys, see – Adam and Harley. Adam is an uptight virgin at the age of 25, while Harley is a slobby, sexist, fearless moron. Adam carries a torch for Betty Anne. For years, he’s written term papers for her, helped her prepare for exams, and loved her in tense, stiff-necked silence. Meanwhile, Betty Anne’s been humping everyone in sight – except for Adam, who is now on his way to her wedding to declare his love for her before she exchanges vows with her fiancé. Harley knows this is a bad idea and tries to convince Adam that Betty Anne is a slut with whom he’s wasting his time.
Together, they ride the backroads in a big red station wagon, exchanging insults and bad jokes. They are tailed, at one point, by a long black hearse. And a little later, a big scary monster truck that looks like something out of a Mad Max movie runs them off the road.
Along the way, they pick up the lovely Sarah, who won’t tell them where she’s headed, but who seems to be eager to relieve Adam of his virginity.
At a couple stops, they find a surprising number of people who are missing limbs and have ugly, twisted stumps.
There’s a rather frightening scene in a public restroom so filthy and ugly that you can smell it as you watch.
That may not sound like much of a movie, but it’s all I’m going to tell you. I don’t want to spoil any of the movie’s secrets, as silly as they may be.
It all ends up with an explanation so stupid it boggles the mind, but it’s in keeping with the spirit of the movie.
Now don’t get me wrong – by regular movie standards, this is not a great movie. But on the moronometer, it clocks in at three bloodshot eyeballs because it’s just so damned much fun.
This is hardcore, in-your-face, over-the-top horror-comedy, the kind of movie you might expect to find at a drive-in theater out in the middle of nowhere.
Personally, I have a thing about long road-trips that take me through creepy small towns whose residents stare silently and a little menacingly. For that reason, Monster Man got under my skin.
If you’re in the mood for the kind of movie that goes for the gross-out and is shamelessly juvenile, Monster Man is the movie for you. It will be hitting video stores soon – watch for it.
[Out of a possible four Bloodshot Eyeballs.]
Monster Man
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